


who not to be

by LiveLaughLovex



Series: down these mean streets [11]
Category: Blue Bloods (TV)
Genre: F/M, Post-Episode: s10e11 Careful What You Wish For
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:55:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22111438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiveLaughLovex/pseuds/LiveLaughLovex
Summary: Despite loving her father, the only thing he'd really provided her with since going to prison was a perfect example of who not to be.----Post "Careful What You Wish For." Eddie and Jamie discuss her father and the lessons he taught without really meaning to.
Relationships: Edit "Eddie" Janko/Jamie Reagan
Series: down these mean streets [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1507463
Comments: 53
Kudos: 26





	who not to be

Eddie headed immediately for the bedroom once they returned from Sunday dinner, pressing a kiss to Jamie’s cheek and telling him there was a call she needed to make. He nodded, trying his best not to let the confusion he was feeling show, and watched as she vanished into the room, closing the door behind her.

He settled on the sofa, flipping through the channels until he found a documentary about Al Capone and The Untouchables. He was half an hour into the program when Eddie emerged from their bedroom, clad in pajamas, to curl up next to him. It wasn’t until five minutes later that she finally spoke.

“I needed to talk to my mom,” she explained quietly. “There isn’t really anyone else who understands everything that went on with my father, and I just… I felt like, after the past few days, talking about it was something I really needed to do.”

“Okay,” Jamie murmured, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head. “How is Lena?”

Eddie exhaled loudly. “She’s good. She’s dating now, apparently, which is… mildly disturbing for me.”

“Haven’t your parents been separated since he went to prison?” Jamie questioned confusedly.

“The guy’s a firefighter younger than either of us,” Eddie informed him, smirking at the look on her face. “Well, I’m glad to have you suffering alongside me now.”

“Thanks, sweetheart,” he returned drily, his arm tightening around her. “Do you feel better now?”

“I still want to set up that scholarship for the Parkers; help them get their kid through college,” she told him. “It’s a good idea. But, yeah. It helped, hearing things from her perspective. I didn’t really know how much she protected me back when it first happened. Things were a lot worse for her than they were for me, and I once had a classmate at Yale throw a drink in my face after finding out I was Armin’s kid.”

Jamie blinked. “Well, that seems a little… severe.”

Eddie shrugged. “Who else was she going to throw it at? Dad was already in prison.”

“That’s a pretty forgiving way to look at it,” Jamie pointed out.

“Well, you married a very forgiving person,” Eddie returned cheekily. She laid her head on his shoulder. “It was talking about the future,” she told him softly. “That messed me up with my dad.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he began to apologize.

She interrupted him before he could finish. “It’s not that. You didn’t do anything wrong. I took it out on you, and yes, there are some things you probably could’ve worded better, but it probably wouldn’t have mattered what you said. I was too in my own head about in way before you even opened your mouth.”

“What do you mean?” he asked curiously.

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “The more time goes on, the more I think I really want kids. I know you do.” She smiled when he tried to protest. “I’ve seen you with the boys, and Nicky, and a lot of babies, Jamie. You love kids; there’s no way you didn’t grow up imagining yourself with a house full of kids.”

“Maybe I did,” Jamie acquiesced. “But that doesn’t mean…”

“I wouldn’t bring kids into this world for no other reason than to make you happy,” she promised him. “I’d never purposely bring a child who wasn’t totally wanted into this world. It wouldn’t be fair to them.”

Jamie nodded once, processing her words. “So, when you say you’re thinking more about having kids…”

“It’s because I think I want them, too,” she confirmed. “And that is, in large part, because I know without even having to consider it that you’re not going to be the kind of father my dad was. Our kids aren’t ever going to have to change their entire worldview because of something you did. You’re a good man raised by a good man. It stands to reason you’d raise good kids.”

“And, for all your father’s faults, he raised a good woman,” Jamie returned truthfully. “The best one I’ve ever known. So it stands to reason you’d raise good kids, too.”

“Has anyone ever told you you’re incredibly sweet?” Eddie asked him, her eyes glistening with tears as she smiled up at him.

“You,” he informed her.

“Well, I’m glad to be right.” She snuggled a bit closer, her eyes drifting shut as the program he’d been watching continued to play in the background. “If we do have kids, though, we’re switching out on the early morning wakeup calls,” she told him sternly.

He smiled against her hair. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

**Author's Note:**

> On a side note - does anyone else feel like a pregnancy announcement is incoming? I feel like the writers keep dropping all these subtle hints, but I want a Jamko baby so badly that I'm not entirely sure I'm not just seeing things.


End file.
